Keeping up with Trump

For anyone who lived through last week and watches cable media, you know that Donald Trump is giving Kim Kardashian a run for her money. A week full of bombshell reports and leaks has left the White House looking like the set of a new reality TV show. I mean think about it, what is Trump ultimately best at? What experience is he bringing to the White House? Reality Television and branding the Trump name. He is literally just an older, richer and possibly stupider version of Kim Kardashian. Gone are the days of optimism, hope and respect for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Let’s sum up the events of last week:

Monday May 15th: Freedom Of The Press No More

Daily White House Press Briefings have been a cornerstone of the American political process for years, but Trump thinks it might be time to shake things up. After months of criticism by the media and political pundits, Sean Spicer has gained more popularity than expected. He has proven to be one of the worst White House Press Secretaries in US history, but it’s hard to put the onus entirely on Sean Spicer. At the end of the day, Sean Spicer is responsible for answering to all of Trump’s fuck-ups, and lets face it, that’s no easy task. In a recent sit down interview with Jeanine Pirro of Fox News, Trump stated “Lets not ever do any more press briefings, you know they are getting tremendous ratings and especially the fake media they are going crazy…they are going crazy.” What is Trump’s alternative plan to conduct press briefings? “through a piece of paper with a perfect accurately beautiful answer.”  Hmm, sounds a little like dictator censorship or just plain stupidity, who knows!

Tuesday May 16th: Lock me up!

Remember when candidate Donald Trump triggered his rally crowds to chant “Lock Her Up” in reference to Hillary Clinton’s mishandling of classified information. Well The Washington Post revealed on Tuesday that Trump shared classified intel regarding ISIS with the Russian foreign ambassador and foreign minister during a meeting in the oval office earlier this month. According to the report, Trump told the Russians “I get the best briefings. I get the best intelligence” and went on to give them intel on ISIS tactics which was given to them by Israeli intelligence. General H.R McMaster had to take over the press briefing for the day to ensure there would be no fuck-ups by Sean Spicer in denying this report, however, the very next morning, Trump took to twitter in an apparent twitter rant that seems to confirm the Washington Post’s report.

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Wednesday May 17th: Impeach, Impeach!

Trump probably wasn’t expecting the firing of FBI Director James Comey to come back and bite him in the ass so soon. The New York Times reported on Wednesday that President Trump asked James Comey to personally end the FBI’s investigation into former national security advisor, Michael Flynn. The report sites two sources who claim Comey had written memo’s after his meeting with Trump, on February 14th, where he reportedly recalls Trump saying the following: “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.” Democrats and left leaning media outlets were quick to cry impeachment, citing a clear case of obstruction of justice. Looks like Trump’s 4-year term may be shorter than expected. Hurray!

Thursday May 18th: Witch Hunt!

Much to Trump’s dismay, the Department of Justice announced on Thursday that it will appoint Robert Mueller to lead a special counsel to investigate Trump and Russia. What does this mean? A looming investigation into whether Trump colluded with the Russians during the 2016 election will overshadow his presidency for months to come. Robert Mueller will also have access to classified information, as well as the authority to subpoena individuals like Michael Flynn, who may have information regarding the investigation. While in a written statement Trump took a measured response to the appointment of Robert Mueller “As I have stated many times, a thorough investigation will confirm what we already know — there was no collusion between my campaign and any foreign entity. I look forward to this matter concluding quickly.” Trump took to twitter a few hours later calling the investigation a Witch Hunt. It was too difficult to contain himself, tweeting his real thoughts was irresistible.

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Friday May 19th: Adios America!

With a week full of breaking news, Trump took off in Air Force One on his first international trip. His destination was Saudi Arabia, where he will meet with Muslim leaders in the Middle East to talk about unity and fighting terrorism. Trump left behind a week of political scandals and impeachment headlines. His damage control team seemed to be on vacation as well, with most responses being handled by Sean Spicer or Trump’s twitter feed. Late Night talk show hosts had a week full of content that almost became too hard to keep up with, leaving my hypothesis correct: Trump is a reality star, not a president.

Author: Aamir Hajeeyani
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2 Replies to “Keeping up with Trump”

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